“Did I Fail My Mother?”… A personal story for National Senior Health and Fitness Day.
By Lisa Flanagan
My phone rang at 7 am and it wasn’t my boss. We’re both early birds and have functioning brains at that hour so it’s fine. This time it was my mother telling me she was in agonizing pain and had called 911. “I’ll meet you at the ER” I told her. I wasn’t allowed in due to COVID so after a few hours I was told to come get her. They said an x- ray showed no fracture so she has sciatica.
Let me give you a little background. Mom will be 92 in June and has been completely independent. Still drives and shops, a lot!! Loves food more than most. Feeding her family healthy nutritious meals was and remains the focus of each day. Food is medicine. She’s healthy as a horse, at least in her mind. Mom has no family doctor. She does have a pulmonologist to treat her COPD (my dad smoked) and she uses him as her GP. See, back in the 60’s Dr. Valoti was everyone’s doctor. He treated everything and made house calls. You had his home number and he just showed up. She did have an internist in the 90’s because she worked at the hospital and his office was there. Easy. Since he retired she just didn’t feel the need to get another one. She doesn’t like the idea of going to the doctor for the “annual checkup”. “They just look for stuff to be wrong with you”. Yeah mom, that’s the point but she was having none of that. I don’t need the “just take her” lecture. She’s a stubborn woman and still has all her mental faculties. You fight with her.
Back to the ER. Mom has been having incontinence issues and I thought she would have mentioned that to the ER doctors but no. After screaming and yelling (at mom) a catheter was placed and she was taken for an MRI that showed a compression fx at L4. Short inpatient stay to four weeks in a Rehab facility. I’ll spare you that drama. UTI ensued because why not. At this time I called a local office and was given an appointment that had to be rescheduled by us numerous times due to various reasons. Several rounds of antibiotics later the UTI comes back with a vengeance and now I’m living with her, let me say this again I’M LIVING WITH HER and I know another trip to the ER will be needed and another short round of antibiotics is coming. That’s not good enough. I can’t keep the merry go round going. I have friends that are physicians of various specialties and called ALL of them. Joyce said explore the telemedicine option. Lightbulb moment!!
Three hours later she had a month’s worth of a different antibiotic and a new Nurse Practitioner who I absolutely adore. She’s actually my NP. I was so grateful to be relieved of the responsibility of my mother’s care. It made me rethink my relationship with Dr. Regina and her staff. When I want or expect something (cause I know everything) from her she’s always there and makes sure my needs are met. I now thank medical professionals daily because they deserve it. They are tired and overworked but still show up. So on this day of National Senior Health & Fitness Day make sure to show them some love today when you take mom to the doctor.
